it does a body good

three days i've had to cook and wash dishes by candlelight. oh, the joys of being a five-foot woman living in an apartment with nine-foot ceilings. even while tippy-toe on a chair, my fingertips are six inches from the fixture. there used to be a step-ladder in the basement for such occassions, but it seems the germans took it with them when they sold the place. the last time a lightbulb burnt out, jason was still around, so i made him change it for me. i could call mark, or shane, and ask them to come fix it, as they're the only tall boys i know, but it's kind of a nice, gentle martyrdom to suffer a little bit every time i flip the switch and nothing happens. have i mentioned the knitting? or that i'm *this* close to saying "fuck it" and finding a new place to live even though i can't afford it, but who can ever afford it, and i'd just spend the money on other stuff anyway. eh. my step-uncle and i are taking my daddy out for a birthday dinner tomorrow night. nothing fancy, just a meal, cards and conversation. then i'll have to start getting ready for next week. i still have a batch of cookies to bake and a pot to chili to make and i'd really like to get eileen's (aka dad's old) computer done this weekend so i can get it the fuck out of my house. i'm sick of looking at it. i'm so tired i want to cry. update: meghan is my hero (even if she calls me a turd)! i now have light in my kitchen again.