lately, i've found myself really wanting to fall in love. or, at the very least, really serious like.
it's been a while since i've felt that way about anyone and i seem to be craving the tummy flutters and daydreaming and obsession that goes along with meeting a boy who makes you tingle. i don't have a particular boy in mind (although, i've come dangerously close to becoming far too attached to my official crush of 2004), so i've found myself ogling random boys a lot more lately and turning into an extra-sappy sap while watching anything remotely romantic on tv.
i want to find a boy who thinks i'm really interesting and likes to spend time with me doing the things that people do. julie wrote about it a little today, the wanting someone to do things with. not because you can't do them on your own, but because you want someone to with whom you can share your experiences. i want to find that.
speaking of boys, tall shane (aka the boy toy) has been dropping not very subtle at all hints that he'd be more than willing to stop by and check my plumbing, if you know what i mean. if i'm really honest, i was more than a little tempted to take him up on it. then i started thinking about it too much. do i really want to have a fling? aren't i worth more than that? it's just sex, isn't it? blah. who knows what i'll end up deciding. i certainly don't.
You know, I hate to tell you, but I think even AFTER you've fallen in love, there are still times you feel like "it's been a while since i've felt that way about anyone and i seem to be craving the tummy flutters and daydreaming and obsession that goes along with meeting a boy who makes you tingle."
Because, of course, it's NOT always all tingly, like when you're having your back scratched (maybe that's just me), and it feels soooooooooo good, but after a while, it just sort of gets duller and duller... unless they move to a new spot.
But if you wait a little bit and try again, that same spot will make you all tingly again. ;-)
true, but then there's the whole other level of comfort and security which replaces and/or supplements the tingles. at least that's how i imagine it, having never gotten to that point.
Ah, but the grass is always greener, or the sex always sweatier or something...
Actually, there is a lot to be said for comfort and security, but it's not a magic "everything will be all better always" pill - at least, that I've found. But, overall, I'm much happier committed and married and all that than looking for love in all the wrong talkers. ;)