limber 33yo SWF with unmentionable talents and a pleasing disposition seeks sugar daddy for monetary support and emotional nurturing in exchange for domestic bliss and unbridled affection.
(yes, i've been doing way too much recreational craigslist reading.)
dear diary,
today i awoke to a blanket of slushy, white glop covering the world. i couldn't take the bus because my achilles tendon is hurting, so i drove to work; and you know how much i hate driving in snow.
but, i did it anyway!
stupid ankle.
things were going really well until i got to the big hill in burnaby. that's where the 5 of "2 to 5 centimetres" happened. i could no longer find clear asphalt for my tires. oh, the anxiety!
i slowed down to 40 km/h, annoying everyone behind me. hey, if they want to die then they can go ahead and pass me. motherfuckers. but, i want to keep living my life (especially now that my bedroom is sexxy and i have a real coffee table in the living room), so i shifted into granny mode.
some asshole tried to cut me off. i would have honked, but i couldn't pry my deathgrip from the steering wheel.
somehow i made it to work, early even, and now i'm just waiting for the granny commute home. this is really putting a crimp in my afterwork shopping plans, let me tell you.
have a great day, diary. keep warm!
love,
heather
let's just say it was a pretty spanktastic weekend. here, let me count the ways:
1. after much adversity, my new curtains were hung (see above).
2. upon leaving my apartment, my dad said "that was the most stimulating conversation i've had in a long while".
3. i have a grown up bedside table and non-interrogation lamp (see above).
3a. i heart ikea.
4. my best friend's birthday party rocked!
4a. i got really, really polluted.
4b. i danced.
4c. i got kissed.
4d. i got asked home by a guy who looks like dante from clerks.
4e. i don't think i paid for anything the entire night.
4f. my hangover only lasted until noon.
5. i got to sleep in a darkened bedroom for the first time in eight years.
6. i figured out 75% of my holiday shopping.
since i'm all about giving it up to the universe to provide me with what i ask for, these are the things i'm asking for:
- the gingerbread suitcase by sephora
- nikon 50mm AF 1.8 D lens
- blue, automatic mazda3 sport (air optional)
- the most comfortable and good-looking sofa ever (in fabric# D330428, tobacco)
- dresser (in antique stain), to match my bed and hold all my funderpants
- matching bedside table, for the other side of the bed (hope springs eternal)
- ipod nano (white) or a used/refurbished ipod mini (with itrip)
- replacement for my 20 year old alarm clock i found one!
- coffeemaker, so i don't have to drink instant any more
- a sweet, sensitive, attractive, caring, sexy boyfriend
- a kitten *purr*
i thought it would be funny to have this entry title and then just leave the body blank, but there's probably someone who wouldn't get it and say "hey, your post didn't work" or something and then i'd have to kill them for being so dense and, even though i think i really need a regimented existence in which someone else is in entire control of all my daily needs (food, exercise, entertainment, shelter, etc) and prison would totally fit the bill, i don't think i'm quite ready for a tattoo or to be someone's bitch, and, really, i just don't think i could live without my daily dose of starting over which makes me think i really should have left this entry blank because i can't believe i just confessed to the internet that i watch that show every day.
work is kicking my ass.
i'm insanely glad it's friday.
i'm even more glad it's payday so i can go buy some food and gas and a birthday present for meghan and a curtain rod to hang my curtains.
despite all the things conspiring to make me hellishly evil and bitchy, i'm surprisingly not. i'm just feeling anxious and frazzled. normally, i'd be crying right about now.
tonight, i'm not answering the phone and overdosing on television. i can't wait.
in lieu of content, i present to you my holiday baking list:
- orange-almond biscotti (2)
- mince tarts
- puffed mint chocolate chip cookies
- ginger cookies
- peppermint bark (2)
- nanaimo bars (2)
- choco-lava cookies
- rice krispie treats or shortbread (i haven't yet decided)
you may now commence the drooling.
you are looking at the material from which my bedroom drapes are to be made. i'm going to have the sexiest bedroom in the free world. just as soon as i get myself a new lamp, right jamie?
alert! there have been words written in the nanowrimo file! 1,320 of them, to be exact. i actually found a little bit of inspiration on the ferry rides i took this week. while i'm pretty sure i won't be getting 48,680 more of them written before the end of the month, i'm fairly confident that this is the beginning of that story i started in my head eight years ago.
the file lives on lucy, so it will go travelling with us and hopefully there will be more inspiration along the way. i actually feel pretty good about the start i've made. now i just need to make some plans for where it's going to go, instead of wandering aimlessly through a sea of paragraphs and getting hopelessly lost.
i'm sad today is the last day of my vacation. it's going to be unbearably difficult to wake up at 5:30 am tomorrow. ugh.
vacation is going great. i'm going to the island. have a good weekend!
even my new red funderpants, magazine hair and perfectly made eyes couldn't woo my midas manager today. i knew it was a bust when he didn't pass my test: he didn't remember my name. oh well. i guess mr. chris isn't my mister after all.
at least my car no longer has funky noises coming from both its front and rear. all no charge.
yes, virginia, it's all about the silver lining.
dear newsreader people: i have a new header thingie i made last night. you might want to clickity-click through to see it. feedback, while not required, is always appreciated.
it's monday morning, about nine-thirty and i'm sitting in my chair in my underpants and nothing else. this is the first day of my week off and i'm starting it in grand style. i was planning to be down at the midas shop trying my best to seduce chris the midas manager, but i've altered my plans a little. mostly because i overslept and i'm not feeling so cute right now. don't worry, i have not yet abandoned the quest. i'm just reworking my strategy.
yesterday afternoon, on some strange whim, i pulled out the videos made for me by the monkeyfaced boy pictured above, the oldest of which is just shy of being ten years old. gosh. do you even remember the internet back then? when, if you wanted to show someone a photo of you, you actually had to mail it? when, if you wanted to talk to someone with your voice, you had to phone them and incure massive phone bills? when people actually wrote emails with content and conversations instead of instant messaging?
that monkeyfaced boy... i can't believe it's soon to be the tenth anniversary of our first phone conversation. i still remember the day. he'd been trying so hard to get me to give him my phone number. i finally relented, then, out of fear, told him he had to wait three hours before he could call. when he did... i was so nervous. i sat on the floor of my bedroom, butt on the ugly green carpet, back against my dresser, clutching my trendy transparent telephone in my hand. the first time i heard his twangy accent part of me melted.
ah, internet love stories. too bad this isn't one of those. well, kind of, but not really. unrequited? not exactly. unfulfilled? most definitely. i may not have found a lover or a partner in him, but that monkeyfaced boy and i have something, some connection which will never be broken. no matter where we live or how long between times we get to visit, we will always know each other.
today, he lives with his beautiful wife, step-daughter and his ultimate accomplishment: his son. he's successful, well-respected, loved, admired; everything he's ever wanted for himself he has and i can't begin to describe just how happy for him i am.
ten years: who knew so much could change, while so much else could stay exactly the same?
i find it interesting that since celebrating my one year anniversary of getting my D70, i've barely taken any photos.
i've complained about this before, both to the internet and live people, but i'm feeling really blocked creatively. i don't feel like i'm seeing things in a unique or interesting way and i certainly don't feel like i'm capable of conveying anything i might see with my camera. i look through the photos on flickr and i see all this stuff which is so amazing & beautiful & technical and i think a combination of "well, i can't do that" and "it's already been done, so why try to imitate".
there's an amazing opportunity coming up for me to share a table at a christmas craft fair at my dad's social club. i could start testing the water to see if my photocards have any marketability. jeremy's expressed keen interest in a series of holiday themed cards, but i don't have any holiday themed photos to make them out of. while down in america, jen and mel suggested i go into the stores with holiday displays and photograph them for my cards. i totally balked. at all of it.
if i really want to try to make this, if not profitable, a cost-matching endeavour i really have to stop being so afraid of failure. if i don't even try i can't possibly succeed.
i can't be shy about telling you all that i have a store at which you can order prints, cards, calendars with my photos on them. that i'll put up any photo you like in whatever form you want from whichever site i have, you just have to tell me what you want.
selling myself is not my strong suit. maybe i need a shill.
it's sad when you have to choose between getting a haircut and buying groceries with your last twenty bucks before payday. i chose groceries, by the way.
this comic sums up how i'm feeling right about now. i've too much to do, both at work and at home. i'm starting to stress myself out about it all. i know i need to just breathe through it, get all zen and stuff, but it's hard when you're prone to OCD tendencies as i am.
today, i am 33 1/3 years old. get it?
i have decided that i'm not going to even attempt to read the wheel of time books until mr. jordan has wrapped it all up with a neat little bow. at which time i will re-read the entire series from start to finish. it's eleven books long so far with three million characters in two million locations. there's no way one can keep up when the books only come out every two years, so i'm no longer going to try. take that, robert!
one word: ponytails.
day three of nanowrimo and i still haven't typed a word. yeah, i'm really glad i told the internet my intention to participate only to FAIL MISERABLY right out of the gate.
this photo is for kevin. the entire ensemble (which means props) can be seen here. i really should have gotten the nose with whiskers i saw at bellis fair last week.
so, in a fit of "i've got to start something, anything, dammit" i signed up for nanowrimo this year. i had no idea what kind of novella (that "la" takes a lot of pressure off) i wanted to write, but i've been half-starting them for years and thought maybe having a firm deadline might actually give me some incentive to do more than half-start. i was the queen of last minute paper-writing in school. i'd do some reasearch the week the assignment was given then i'd do nothing until the day before it was due. i wasn't lazy; it was all about the adrenaline.
i thought that having a firm writing committment would be good for me. that i could take lucy out to a cafe, continue my search for the best latte in town and write without the distractions of what's on television or dishes needing doing or whatever else it is which would distract me. i still think it's a good idea. i'll flex my brain. i'll get out of the house. i'll drink more coffee.
i've decided that i'm finally going to write the story which has been percolating in my brain for almost a decade. joe knows the title. joe knows the plot. joe even knows the devices. too bad i don't know joe anymore.
it's also too bad i just picked up from the library a copy of the eleventh wheel of time book. the worst part, even more than it being two years since i read the last one and only having a vague recollection of the dozens of characters in it, is that it's 761 pages i need to read in the next two weeks. no renewals. there goes that jumpstart i was imagining.
expect updates (read: whining) about the writing process. i have very few expectations for the whole thing, so hopefully i won't disappoint myself too much if i don't make it.
