March 2009 Archives

i've been spending a inordinate amount of time thinking about what my first deliberate taste of sugar is going to be when Lent and my self-imposed sugarlessness end.

when i was at Shane's birthday, i was sure it would be Cupcakes.

on Saturday, i was sure it would be some creative Japanese candy.

Sunday, i was sure it would be Diet Pepsi.

just a minute ago, i was sure it would be cake.

two seconds ago, i was sure it would be a root beer float with real vanilla ice cream.

Lent ends in two weeks and i'm kind of afraid that i'm going to spend the entirety of those fourteen days thinking about what kind of sugar i'm going to eat to break my fast.

you'd think i'd be over it by now seeing as it's been over a month already. stupid sugar! why do you have to be in so many tasty things?!

so, after all that angst, the sun came out, friends came over, i got spoiled and i made it through to the other side.

i knew i would, but when i wrote last, i was neck-deep in all the things which were conspiring to break me down. a little rest, a lot of fun, a bunch of kisses and a surprise present all helped to heal my weary heart.

did you know that girls and food on a Saturday afternoon make for a really bloody good time? well, they do! i had invited some of my more craftily talented female friends over to Chez Hessie for some appies and making of cute things. not everyone could make it, but i think those who did had a good time. it was awesome for me for a lot of reasons, but it gave me a chance to get to know Brigette, Miranda and Kimli a little better. it's hard to make new friends when you're in your *cough*late*cough* thirties, so it was good for me to branch out some. i'm horribly bad at it, so i was pleased it all seemed to go so well. Kimli even brought a totally new-to-me person, Shan! yay!

after many hours of snacks and crafts, my boy showed up and i think the sudden shock of testosterone unsettled things, because it wasn't long after that everyone made their exits. after they left, and i vacuumed up some teeny pieces of lightbulb, i stood in my suddenly empty living room and couldn't believe it was after ten o'clock. the day just FLEW by! i suppose that means i had fun.

yesterday, Christopher and i drove out to Squamish. it was such a gorgeous day, i'm glad we got out for an awesome drive. Liselotte behaved while we took all the crazy turns along the Sea to Sky. Chris wasn't very impressed with downtown Squamish, though. we tried to have lunch at The Chieftain, but the barkeep told us they didn't even make half the items on the tiny menu so he directed us down the street a ways where we had a fairly decent lunch sitting beside three RCMP officers.

btw, whenever i'm near cops i totally want to stare at them. is that wrong? will they arrest me?

not very funny at all story: arriving home Friday night, my answering machine was flashing. i pressed the button and we started listening to a message from my Knee Surgeon. "hi, this is so-and-so from Dr. Richmond's office calling about your appointment next Thursday at 9:30am. we have to reschedule" -- this is where i felt my blood pressure rising dramatically, thinking "oh, no, they didn't!" -- "to 2:20 that afternoon." phew! that receptionist has no idea how close she was to one irate Heather. so, yeah. surgeon this week. yay!

i think there's a finite amount of pain a single person can handle before they just... snap.

and i'm feeling pretty snappish today.

the knee borked, then i got the hematoma, then i had that crazy awful migraine, then i wore different shoes and my foot rebelled, then that other thing happened, then there were cramps. it seems like there hasn't been a day in the last month that i haven't had some sort of pain zapping my energy and clouding my soul.

i try to sleep, but i wake up two hours after i've laid down, then again every hour after that. when my alarm starts bleating at five-thirty, i'm exhausted from trying to get back to sleep all night. i've stopped eating sugar. i'm eating oatmeal and salads and smoothies, but i guess i'm not giving my body the fuel it needs to repair itself. what else could it be?

i've been obsessed with how i'm going to manage post-op if/when i get my knee repaired. the very steep stairs won't be conducive to crutches. christopher doesn't drive, so how will i get to my doctor and physio appointments without being a burden to anyone or incurring giant taxi bills? i could go to the island, but then how do i see my doctor for follow ups?

MEH!

i know this too shall pass. it's not nearly so dire for me as it is for so many people today. i just feel it all today, every single bit of it and my camel's back is creaking loudly.

i feel a little like a criminal right now. for some reason, sometime yesterday afternoon, the draconian firewall at work stopped working and... i can blog! and get to twitter! and see all those "personal websites"! it's... titillating! i'm sure it won't last long, so i'll be sure to enjoy it while i can.

and, you get to enjoy it too, in the form of this post! win-win, baby!

so, i got my blood donor card in the mail yesterday. i guess that means i didn't have any horrible blood-borne diseases and my heart juice is good enough for life-saving purposes. i also FINALLY learned my blood type: B RH Negative. that's B- if you're lazy. it's the same as my mom, which makes sense if you know blood things. my dad is O+ and there was a chance i'd need a transfusion at birth because negatives and positives can battle it out if a negative mom is carrying a positive baby. but, i didn't need a transfusion, so there was high probability of a blood type match with my mother.

it's just kind of cool to finally know.

especially since only 1.4% of Canadians have my blood type. i'm rare and in demand, baby! which is just another reason why i'll continue to donate blood every 56 days. gotta keep us cool-ass B-Neg's alive!

last night, i drove the fancy paternal car to pick up my dad from the airport after his 10-day Caribbean cruise. i mentioned that he might want to get his brakes checked because as i was leaving his parking garage, the brakes they were making freakishly loud rusty-gate screech and grinding noises. they went away soon enough i felt confident in driving it to Richmond and back, but yikes. a week parked shouldn't seize up your brakes that badly.

otherwise... i'm boring. i have a whole lotta cleaning to do before Saturday. new people are coming to Chez Hessie, so my inner neat-freak is freaking out a little. MUST! CLEAN! APARTMENT!

yeah, that's it. sorry it couldn't be more interesting. hopefully the added spice of covertness will make up for the general interest level being a little low.

on my BC Hydro bill before-last, i was informed that thanks to their new tiered rate structure and my low daily kilowatt usage, my monthly bill would be reduced from $23 to $17 dollars.

last night, the television consumer advocate Chris Olson reported on a new low rate for home phone service from Telus. mere moments later, Telus called me and, after declining their internet or tv service, i got me a lower phone bill, saving me about $10 each month.

that's $16 more every month i'll have to spend on the Purely Decadent Coconut Milk "ice cream" i've discovered! or the agave syrup i put in my coffee instead of sugar or Splenda. or put into my savings account so i have money available to buy myself new pants or take a long-lost friend out to lunch.

i like it when my bills get smaller instead of bigger, don't you?

in other news, the whole no sugar/sweeteners thing is going so well i passed up Timbits yesterday. oh, how i wanted one. they were calling to me from the little yellow handled box on the receptionist's desk. tempting me with their bite-sized doughy goodness. i even went so far as to stick my nose in and take a great big whiff of them. then i walked away.

i don't quite know what's gotten in to me, really. i even seem to like oatmeal now. that's an accomplishment because i haven't even contemplated oatmeal since the traumatic oatmeal incident at Outdoor School in grade four.

there we were, sitting on the benches at those long tables in the dining room with that giant poster up on the wall with the lyrics to the "Johnny Appleseed" song we sang before each meal. then the big pots of mushy, overcooked, slimy oatmeal were thumped on the table. i cringed. i knew i wasn't going to be able to eat any of that ooze, but i tried anyway. grabbing the handle of the big serving spoon, i dolloped a sickening glop of mush into my bowl, then shoveled half the container of brown sugar onto it in a futile attempt at masking that awful flavour of it. my spoon stirred in the sugar, swirling around my bowl, but never getting remotely close to approaching my mouth. finally, a fraction of the spoon filled, i wrinkled my face and touched it to my reluctantly opened mouth.

as soon as that slimy, sweet mush touched my tongue, i was done. i probably gagged. there was definitely gacking and shuddering. pushing the bowl away from me, i looked around eagerly for anything else in that cavernous room to keep me fed until lunch time. nothing except juice. i must have drunk five glasses full. then, a fellow classmate asked if he could have my oatmeal. thrusting it at him, i vowed then and there i'd never EVER eat oatmeal ever again for the rest of my life. EVER.

almost 30 years later... a recently food-curious adult Heather was shopping in her local IGA when she paused in front of the Bob's Red Mill section and looked at that bag of steel-cut oats with something akin to excitement. what the hell! it was only $3.99. it was time to see if it was just over-cooked rolled oats which had given oatmeal a bad name for nigh on three decades.

i brought them home and plunked the package on the counter, awaiting the next morning to try my hand at cooking oats for the first time. waking the next day, leaving the boy in bed for his extra hours of sleep, i again regarded the bag of oats with curiosity, then pulled out a pot and measuring cups.

about twenty minutes later, i had a bowl of chewy steel-cut oats drizzled with some maple syrup. they were definitely oaty in flavour, but had a lovely texture and not at all ooze-like. i ate the bowl in its entirety. then filled it again. i couldn't get enough! i still can't! all week long, when i haven't been eating oatmeal, i've been thinking about eating oatmeal.

it's hard to admit to giving up a food phobia. it makes people say things like "next up: mayonnaise!" (no way!) and, honestly, look at you weird when you start yammering on about how AMAZING oatmeal is because they've been eating it all their lives and they truly can't imagine anyone getting that excited about a hot grain cereal. even when it has syrup and slivered almonds on top. YUM!

so, this is the story of the end of an era: i eat (steel-cut) oatmeal; and, i'd be everso happy to share some with you.

i borrowed this meme from the über-fabulous Kimli. my answers first, Christopher's answers in brackets:

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

1. He is sitting in front of the TV. What is on the screen?
if it's turned on: Turner Classic Movies or The Simpsons. it probably wouldn't be turned on. (That's about right.)

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
i don't think he'd ever get a salad when eating out. that being said, he's so un-picky, he'd probably just say "ranch" to make the waiter/tress go away. (I'd probably get something oily.)

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
liver. (Spot on.)

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
Guinness or some other version of beer. (Duh)

5. Where did he go to high school?
Burnaby (All my schools were in Burnaby)

6. What size shoe does he wear?
9 (yup)

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
cameras, comics, videos, dvds, receipts, packaging, plastic bags, dust bunnies, japanese nick-nacks. (I have a collection of a few of those things.)

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
bacon & tomato? (Good guess.)

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
he's got a really low tolerance for food repetition, so i'm not sure if he could eat the same thing every day without wanting to die. maybe pizza? (The low tolerance part is right. I think I'd get sick of pizza pretty quick.)

10. What is his favorite cereal?
i don't know. i never buy the stuff and, really, he's not a breakfast person in general. i'm going to hope it's Shreddies, though. ;) (Ancient Grains from Stuporstore. I can't blame you for not getting that.)

11. What would he never wear?
short-sleeve button-down shirts. or, pretty much anything i want him to try on in a store. (That and sweatpants outdoors.)

12. What is his favorite sports team?
he'd probably say it's some European football team. (Canucks!)

13. Who did he vote for?
NDP. (I do not tell people for whom I vote.)

14. Who is his best friend?
me. (I don't have best friends, but I love you more than any other person. Well, you and mom.)

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
nag him about cleaning up and/or wanting to stay in instead of walking my feet off downtown. (Sounds right.)

16. What is his heritage?
British. (Welsh/Irish/Norwegian)

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
something chocolatey, just for the thrill. (Angel Food Cake is my favorite.)

18. Did he play sports in high school?
i'm pretty sure that's a "no way, jose". (Nothing they didn't force me to do.)

19. What could he spend hours doing?
watering the flowers in Animal Crossing or touching up a scan. (Watering flowers lasts about 15 minutes. That's long enough for me. I consider scanning as a chore. I can't think of anything I could spend hours doing, except maybe walking around.)

20. What is one unique talent he has?
he thinks i'm awesome. ;) (Lots of people think you're awesome. I'm not unique in that.)

yesterday, i gave blood for the very first time.

my original vision for this experience involved a gaggle of my friends all walking into the mobile clinic together after a fun brunch, where we could save lives and support each other. unfortunately, i ended up attending the clinic on my own because i have ridiculously well-travelled friends who've all gone to places on the malaria zone list in the last year -- *jealous*.

after frittering away my day in anxious anticipation, it was finally time for me to head out to the clinic. i don't quite know what i was expecting, but walking through the doors dispelled any preconceptions i'd created.

everyone there (with few exceptions), from staff to volunteers were so delight- and helpful. i was crazy nervous and fumbling around like a total dork. the first worker took my name and gave me a pamphlet to read (there was a LOT of emphasis on having read that pamphlet). the next worker told me to flip her off so she could poke my middle finger to test the iron level of my blood by dripping it in a vial of vile-looking liquid -- if it sinks to the bottom, you're good to go. next, you have to answer a lot of questions about things or people you've done or been to since 1977.

after filling out the little boxes, i found myself in the wrong waiting area -- oops! thankfully, a helpful (and very, very young) volunteer rescued me and put me in the right place. then i waited to see a nurse for more personal questions of a sexual nature and a blood-pressure/heart rate check. my blood pressure was crazy high and my pulse came in at just one beat shy of being too fast. just one little beat of my heart saved me from being declined, which was one of my biggest fears about the whole experience. close call!

the nurse gave me a basket with a bunch of blood-gathering supplies and directed me to the area i'd mistakenly put myself in previously. then the only male nurse there called my name and it was time to lay down on the cot for the poking. heh, poking. as i approached the cot, i noticed it was set up for right-hand poking. as i sat, i mentioned to the nurse that my left arm was usually better for getting at a vein, but he didn't seem to concerned.

after poking at my arm for a while looking for a vein, he told me to take a deep breath and then stuck the needle in -- it really didn't hurt at all! then, almost immediately, he made one of those sounds you never want to hear when someone's been sticking needles in your arm. he said he'd have to take the needle out because it wasn't in quite right. so, i sat there for about twenty minutes holding gauze and ice on the puncture and getting a lot of attention from a lot of different nurses. next thing i know i had the charge nurse by my side informing me that i don't have to continue, but because no blood actually got in the bag, they could try my other arm. i immediately told her there was no question of my continuing. hell, it took this long to get me there and, really, the worst had already happened, so why not keep going?

after waiting for a cot set up for lefties, i got comfy and settled in. within a couple minutes, the needle was in and, after a little adjustment to eliminate a tiny pinching sensation, my blood was filling the tube you see running down my arm in the photo above. nine minutes and four seconds later, i was finished!

that was it! other than the small snafu and the copious amount of waiting around, the actual donating part is a piece of cake! i didn't get dizzy or pass out, as i was afraid i might. everyone was so crazy nice and friendly. and, after your bag is full... there is juice and cookies!

now, as you know, i gave up sugar (and artificial sweeteners) for Lent. but, i had two cups of peach juice and two packages of cookies after i donated. there's a reason why they give you sugary things to eat and drink, so i followed procedure. if it helps, i've had a killer headache ever since because of that consumption of sugar. blargh.

so, now i wait to get my blood donor card with my blood type on it (eee!) and then i'll be making an appointment to go back to give again on May 2nd!

saving lives is awesome!

hi. my name is Heather, and i haven't had sugar in seven days.

"hi, Heather!"

well, i haven't exactly had no sugar, if you really want to get all technical about it.

i slipped on Monday and had one of the dark chocolate peppermint patties my delightful boyfriend bought while waiting for the ferry home and so thoughtfully left at the apartment of the person who GAVE UP SUGAR FOR LENT! *sigh* he is an awesome boyfriend, but leaving those there was an evil, evil temptation. especially when i was in the middle of a disability crisis.

if it's any consolation, that one peppermint patty -- no matter how good it tasted going down -- gave me the only headache i've had since i stopped eating overtly added sugars. just for that benefit, i'm totally sticking with the plan.

there have been other exceptions, as previously noted. the meaty spaghetti sauce i made was based on a jar of sauce which had sugar added, but it was in the pantry, so it's within the rules. i added some ketchup to the hashbrowns i had for breakfast, lunch and dinner on Tuesday. the Ultimate Crunches i ate on the ferry were probably havens for hidden sugars, but i totally avoided the ketchup & relish i'd normally add to them! and, the bread i eat my PB-no-J on has sugar at the bottom of the ingredient list; but, i sent one of my extra loaves home with mom to get that much closer to replacing it with sugar-free bread.

i'm still trying to figure out what i'd order at Starbucks, though. especially since i don't like unsweetened coffee products.

then came the kitchen clean out. that sweet chili sauce which has been taking up room in my fridge for the last three years (when i bought it at Costco), has finally been expunged. so have the three jars of pickles way past their expiry dates -- ew. the sugary organic oatmeal packets i bought in hopes of actually acquiring a taste for the mushy cereal will be donated to someone who will actually eat them. Christopher's yummy ginger drinks have gone back to his house since, despite their awesomeness, no one needs to drink something with FOUR DIFFERENT KINDS OF SUGARS listed in the ingredients. well, except him, it seems.

strangely, it seems both a much longer and a much shorter period of time i've been doing this. it's not hard, exactly. i just spend a lot more time asking "does X have sugar in it?" than most normal people, but otherwise, it's not much of a hassle. yet.

until i try to go to Starbucks!

p.s. just a reminder, this coming Saturday is the re-scheduled blood donation day for Kimli and i! how very exciting! unfortunately for me, Christopher will be unable to escort us, so i'm totally asking: who wants to come along to make sure i don't pass out or die on my way home?

i was supposed to go see the knee surgeon today.

unfortunately, two weeks ago i got a call that he wasn't going to be in the office and could i come in in April instead? wha? not in the office? but, didn't you make me an appointment? so, either he's out playing squash or he's down at that false creek clinic fixing someone's knee who has the $8,000 to skip the line.

more unfortunately, as i've alluded to, friday night, after arriving at my mom's place with Christopher in tow, crawling into bed ruined my knee after a record stretch of not much pain at all. i've been icing, medicating, limping and generally suffering for the last four days as a result.

i REALLY would have liked to see the surgeon today instead of four weeks from now.

due to the nature of my job and location of my office (no elevator), i've been at home the last two days. you know, being home isn't all it's cracked up to be when it hurts every time you try to do something. i can't even clean the way i'd like to! and you know how much i like to clean.

meh. i guess i just felt like venting. i'm feeling kind of sorry for myself right now. i had a pretty good and active week last week and it felt really good. now, the thought of one-stepping down the stairs tomorrow morning to go back to the office fills me with dread.

well... at least i caught up on all my tv shows. that's an accomplishment, right?

my weekend wasn't exactly what i'd hoped for.