Recently in self-indulgence Category

six months ago (minus three days), a blood clot which formed in the back of my left leg after my knee surgery broke off, zoomed up my leg, through my heart and got stuck in my lung. it went from being a DVT to a PE in a millisecond. and it almost killed me.

for the last six months (minus three days), i've been taking a daily dose of rat poison to thin my blood enough so that i wouldn't form another clot and to buy my body time to "deal with" the clot that now resided in my lung, like a ticking time bomb.

every week for the last six months (minus three days), i've had to go to the lab and get poked with needles (sometimes multiple times) to draw my blood to ensure that i was taking enough rat poison to keep the clot(s) at bay.

every minute of every day for the last six months (minus three days), i've worried about that clot in my lung. the doctor in the hospital said one of three things could happen to it:

1) it could just go away;
2) it could get scarified and permanently attached inside my lung; or,
3) it could, in some cases, get bigger.

he also said they wouldn't do any follow-up CT scan or testing to find out what it did after my six months of anti-coagulant treatment. take the pills and then stop taking the pills and you'll be fine, he said. so, i lived with the fear that it was just growing and getting more and more ominous because that's what i do. i worry and practice hypochondria.

today, i got the news.

my lovely and wonderful hematologist told me that the radioactive fog i breathed in and radioactive solution i got shot up with two weeks ago showed that my lungs are completely clear. my clot is gone! my lungs are absolutely normal and i am not going to die at some random moment because i exerted myself too much and dislodged my unwanted lung tenant! i can eat broccoli and take vitamins with abandon! i can have beer! i can go jump on a treadmill and not fear heavy breathing!

i started to cry as i walked to the car. i knew i'd been depressed and anxious the last six months (minus three days) and that i was under some extreme stress, but this news, those three little words, have lifted a giant weight from my shoulders. as i told my dad, there aren't enough exclamation points in the world to express just how happy this makes me.

I AM NORMAL!!!

and i'm so happy i could almost float. =)

this is a list of all the things i think i should have accomplished lately but haven't:

- cleaned my dad's car windows while he was away
- vacuumed the crap off my floors
- washed my floors
- cleaned the bathtub
- called my cousin back
- returned that text message from Tyler
- used my Wii Fit (Plus)
- roasted the peppers which hopefully haven't yet gone bad
- eaten those potatoes i baked
- cleaned the window tracks
- removed all the various gardening debris from the balcony
- fixed the bathroom drawer
- cleaned the kitchen light fixture
- called the super about getting my bathroom repaired
- gone for a walk
- posted better things more often
- called Meghan
- called Karen
- helped my uncle with his scanner
- called about counseling
- cleaned and purged my kitchen cupboards
- cleaned and purged my bookshelves
- cleaned and purged my storage closet
- cleaned out the bottom of the coat closet
- moved the cedar chest into the closet so i have room for a new dresser
- turned the mattress
- had the blinds washed
- bought new curtains for the livingroom (i just ordered some in two colours to decide between)
- cleaned my car windows
- put up my craft crap on Etsy for sale
- all that shit at work i hate doing
- shaved my legs
- called for a hair appointment
- worn my brace
- found some way of keeping in better touch with Jeremy, Heather and Tyler
- lost weight
- ate more vegetables
- gotten over all the September trauma already

my house is a mess, my kitchen is covered in dirty dishes, i'm smelly, exhausted and broke.

this is what it's like when i procrastinate and have less than a week to produce enough crap craft to take to the craft fair to, hopefully, you know, sell.

i've mentioned it in passing, i think, but not in detail. after applying in May, my co-worker and i were finally informed of our acceptance into the Christmas Magic at the Manor two-day craft fair being held at the Urban Academy in New Westminster. unfortunately, they didn't bother telling us until the very end of October. eep! so, instead of having months to spend preparing stock, we've had less than three weeks to prep everything for the fair NEXT WEEKEND.

and, of course, because i'm a lazy slacker, i wasted two weeks and decided six days would be more than enough to make over two hundred magnets, one hundred photo cards, fifty pendants and two dozen rings.

just kill me now, please.

anyway, if you're not doing anything next weekend, feel free to stop by and say hi (and bring me food and/or beverages)!

Christmas Magic at the Manor
November 21 & 22, 2009 10 am to 5 pm

Urban Academy
101 Third Street, New Westminster, BC

i had promised myself that today i'd post something with actual content, but work was crazy and i spent the last eight hours buying american underpants, among other things. more to come, but now... now i need sleep.

i know this is a funky week what with the holiday right in the middle and all, but really? why was today all the very worst parts of the entire week rolled into one, giant, anxious, painful, busy, freak-out day?

ugh.

so, instead of coming home and being as productive as i'd hoped, i stopped to get stuck by the vampires (btw, i have a new favourite vamp. turns out they DO get better with age!), then came home to eat the leftover pizza, fall asleep on the couch and then have a bath.

really, that's all i've done since i left work today.

wow, i bet you guys are SO GLAD i'm posting every day what with all this scintillating content, huh? hopefully, the car-full of hot chicks rushing the border for underpants and burritos tomorrow night will give me something worth writing about.

i spent so much time trying to get over the trauma of watching that damn Transformers movie, i totally forgot to post anything on Sunday. but, because i'm sure there are some Nablopomo participants who post-dated canned entries, i'm totally back-dating this one. hell, i've only been awake for fifteen minutes. it's still practically yesterday for me. ;)

yesterday was the annual camera show at the Croatian Cultural Centre. Christopher and i got up early and headed out in search of... stuff. neither of us really needed anything new, but you just never know what you'll find! this year, i found two new flashbars to use on my SX-70s for only $3 each!

both Jamie and Chris came away with awesome finds -- Jamie, an absolutely mint condition Minolta; Chris, a battery grip, with battery, for a third of the price new -- so we went out to the Three Lions Cafe for brunch to celebrate. i'd heard good things about the place from a bunch of local people, so i suggested it. well, the food was good (i had the traditional english breakfast), but the service was a little lacklustre. i think i'd rather go to The Tomahawk for a really expensive plate of breakfast food.

after food, Jamie left us to go back south then the boy and i took off for parts Granville Island. i was still in search of some items for crafting, so i wanted to take advantage of being in the neighbourhood while i could. after spending a bunch of money and taking a few photos we headed home to chill with pizza and Zombieland (which was FANTASTIC, btw). after the movie, i did some craft prep and then went to bed before nine-thirty -- i'm such a party animal.

next up is a busy week! there's: showdown at the office; american underpants; super crafting binges; and, fighting for my rights at a union meeting.

can i just skip right to next weekend?

this day held so much promise, what with the six people i was going to see naked and the potential for a yummy lunch from the awesome thai place. i should have known it wouldn't hold up.

let's just say that when i had to resort to mcdonald's drive-thru for lunch, i suspected it was all downhill from there.

my work-day ended with my "awesome" supervisor pulling rank and reminding me that he really doesn't care -- something i'd realized before i left, but obviously forgot what with all the near-death trauma. oh well. if he wants to play it that way, all i can say is he might not actually like having me not being able to do anything without checking with him first. trust me, i do a lot on my own initiative, but hey... if he doesn't trust my judgment in matters relating to my job, i guess he'll have to deal with me running every. single. thing. by him every. single. day.

luckily, i have the best boyfriend in the world. when i finally got home, he was cooking dinner and there were a dozen red roses on my desk.

now we're just chilling and enjoying a quiet night. although, it really does not feel like friday to me for some reason. that's not so bad, because then getting to sleep in tomorrow morning will feel extra-decadent!

i drove to work today.

now, before y'all get your panties in a twist, i have a perfectly valid and reasonable explanation for this turn of events: my dad is going on a cruise.

i can almost hear all of you cocking your head to one side, thinking "huh?".

you see, when my father goes away for one of his expensive and awesome vacations, i get the use of his car. this started when i still had the Geo and he refused to ride in it when i drove him to the airport (actually, it started in early 1990 before i even had a car of my own; but, i digress). i'd drive him in his vehicle and he'd just let me keep it while he was gone. now, it's a tradition of sorts. dad takes a trip, i get to drive the nice car.

this week was to be a real-world test of what it would be like for me to not own a car. if i didn't own a car, damn skippy i'd take his and use it at every opportunity! therefore, i don't see any reason why i should feel bad for doing so.

okay, so it's a little bit cop-out-y, but hey! would you turn down the use of the car with power steering, remote door locks and brand-new transmission if it were handed to you on a silver platter? besides, it's supposed to be all stormy the next few days. you wouldn't want me to get wet, catch a chill and then die of H1N1, would you?

i didn't think so.

so... road trip, anyone?

i think i like taking transit to work.

now, before you go calling the men with the straight-jackets and padded rooms, let me explain a little. i like taking transit to work. the length and leisure of it isn't so bad at all. especially on days when the sunrise is so spectacularly beautiful that half the bus stops their navel-gazing to stare out the window at is as we ride across the Lions Gate Bridge. i don't even mind the long walk from the station into work now that my body's starting to get used to this whole "moving" thing i haven't subjected it to in earnest for a far, far too long. i get to listen to music or an audio book on my ipod, people-watch, look at all those buildings i can't rubber-neck at while i'm driving past or just turn off my head and go to a happy place.

all of this for the low-low price of leaving the house at 6:30 a.m.

of course, when they turn the clocks back in the spring and 6:30 is actually 5:30... well, i might not be quite so positive about the whole thing.

while i kind of enjoy taking transit to work, i absolutely LOATHE taking transit home from work.

oh. my. god. there's something calm and soothing about transiting in the morning. it is the exact opposite going home. i don't know if it's that more people are awake or that they've all had crappy days or what, but man... the train is fuller and more annoying. the bus is packed to the gills -- sidebar PSA: if you go out in the world and interact with people, don't stink. please. it's painful for those of us with working olfactory senses. thank you. -- and takes way longer than it does in the a.m. it's just all-around sucky.

plus, it's freaking DARK out! ugh. how many months until the sunlight comes back?

so, if i could find someone to drive me home every day -- hell, even someone to just drive me to North Van and drop me at a bus stop would work -- my commuting issues would be mostly moot. alas, i don't think i'm that lucky or well-connected.

just for fun, i'm going to try taking a whole different way home today! maybe a train and two buses will be less trying than dealing with grumpy (and stinky!) down-towners.

today, a bug flew into my eye and got stuck there.

that was the best thing to happen all day. well, except for my sandwich. that was pretty awesome.