how about  having to get up to change the channel on the tv?

or knowing where you're going and planning to get there on time because you had no way to contact someone in-transit?

what about having to use the stove to heat up leftovers?

or having to plan to be home at 8pm on thursday night to watch your favourite show because if you didn't, you would just plain miss it?

it seems i'm feeling a little nostalgic for all the things which have changed, just in my (short-ish) lifetime.

don't get me wrong, i love tech.  i barely remember how i lived without my microwave, tivo, iphone and digital everything.  power windows in my car.  a whole collection of movies and tv shows on dvd to watch anytime i want.  hundreds of albums worth of music in my pocket wherever i go.  i don't think i'd willingly go back to those days, but still... there's a sense that things were simpler.  less busy.  quieter and maybe even a little better.

all the distractions have entirely eroded my ability to concentrate.  reading a book?  c'mon!  every few pages i have to put it down to check twitter or email or see why tivo's recording something. oh, wait!  that reminds me, i have to google [insert random thing here]!  i miss uni-tasking.  i miss not needing the internet in my pocket.  i miss having extra outlets; not plug-juggling to get juice for whatever new gadget it is i just brought home.

there's not really any place for me to go with this train of thought except into a shiny mag-lev future.  unless there's a giant EMP which fries all the transistors in all our tech, it'll only get more gadgety and our kids won't even believe us when we tell them stories about having to write letters on paper with sticks filled with coloured water.

oh, you darn kids.  GIT OFF MY LAWN!

eight weeks ago, i started a 12-week fitness challenge at work.  for the low-low price of $150, i would get three months of personally-trained bootcamp classes and nutritional counselling.  each four-week period would be assessed with a weigh-in, measurement and body composition analysis.   since getting back into the gym was the express reason i got my knee fixed last year, i was super excited to sign up and get going.

then i went to my first class.

day one nearly killed me.  at the end of the 45 minutes, i was dizzy, sweaty, nauseated and thought i might die. i barely made it down the stairs to my car to drive home and crawl up the Very Steep Stairs into my apartment where i collapsed on my bed and could barely get up an hour later to go feed myself.  the next two days my legs and ass were so sore, walking up stairs felt like all the muscles in the lower half of my body were ripping apart.  it's not a feeling i ever want to experience ever again in my life.

every week my trainer, Rocky, would add new and more painful exercises to the circuit for his pleasure and our pain.  i learned that my left leg was considerably weaker than my right (which stands to reason) and my hamstrings were practically non-existent.  i also learned that i turn a scary shade of purple when exercising and when people see me like that they think i'm going to die a lot sooner than i do.  i re-learned that i like weights and hate cardio.

the first four-week weigh-in sucked for me.  i lost a grand total of .8 pounds (1.16 fat loss with a .36 lb muscle gain).  it wasn't for lack of effort in the classes, that's for damn sure.  it turns out that the food side of fitness/weight loss is probably more important than the exercise.   you see, i'd sat through all the meetings about the food plan and kind of poo-pooed it all because, as a fat girl, i've been paying attention and learning about food and nutrition almost all of my life.   so, when it came to actually walking the walk with what Rocky wanted me to eat, i played fairly fast and loose with his recommendations.

each week after submitting my food log to him for review, i'd get an email back chastising me for this or saying i should try not to eat that.  i slowly made alterations to my eating, but i was really resisting all the extra work and expense of my food requirements.  i got tired of cleaning, cooking cooking and eating vegetables.  i got annoyed with the added costs for yogurt and starch snacks and all that damn protein.  out of that frustration, i would go and totally pig out on weekends, justifying it because a cheat day was healthy!  and i'd been working out!  and i'd been so good during the week!

alas, that first weigh-in proved me dead wrong.  i was upset with myself for literally paying to fail.  so, i looked at the numbers and vowed that my second weigh-in would kick the first's ass.  i was so devoted to killing my next weigh-in i went to class not once, but THREE TIMES during my VACATION!   who am i?!

last monday was my second weigh-in.  this time, i lost 8.8 pounds (6.51 fat loss and 2.29 muscle loss - oops) for a grand total of 9.6 pounds!  take that week four weigh-in!  i kicked your ass good!

okay, 9.6 pounds isn't a lot, i know.  especially considering the amount i have to lose, but it's all about the progress.  three months ago, i was heavier than i've ever been and i was getting quite depressed and scared for my health and future (or lack thereof).  my doctor put me on high blood pressure medication.  i was starting to realize that my pants weren't fitting and i might not be able to find a bigger size to fit me.  this challenge came at exactly the right time and i am so grateful to be able to be a part of it.  this isn't just about getting into my "skinny jeans".  this is about saving my life and, after last September, i have a much more acute awareness of how easy that is to lose.

so, back to the pants.

i wasn't sure, but about two weeks ago, i thought i started noticing that my jeans were falling down.  at least a little.   i couldn't be entirely sure because there's a small amount of stretch in them and it could have been the day three slackness which always happens after they get worn a few days in a row.  but this week?  yeah, my pants are definitely falling down.  and, while i KNOW this is good thing, i find i'm getting really annoyed by having to hike them up every half-dozen steps.   they're not baggy enough to warrant a belt or replacing them with smaller pants (not that i can afford to buy new right now -- hello, i bought a car!), so i'm in this frustrating in-between-land i'm going to dub Saggy Crotch Ville.  step-step-hitch-step-step-hitch.  that's me walking down the hall.  SEXY!

the worst part?  i'm annoyed that i'm annoyed that my pants are too big!   WTF?

so, eight weeks in, my pants are falling down and, whenever my muscles or joints aren't screaming at me for all this abuse, i feel freaking fantastic!  i can't help but wonder just how awesome i'll feel in another month!   hell, i might even have to go buy a belt!

finally, i wasn't going to make this public, but maybe putting it out there will give me even more incentive.  i'm currently in dire need of a haircut.  in addition, i've decided that i'm going to get it coloured to hide the many, many greys which have started popping up unbidden.   i could go this weekend and be happy, but i've given myself a condition:  no haircut until i've lost 20 pounds total.  i'm hoping that by the next weigh-in i'll have reached that mark and i can go get a fancy new do just in time for my birthday.   wish me luck!

and don't laugh at my saggy pants, okay?

- reading a book will cost more
- watching tv will cost more
- going to see a movie will cost more
- eating food anywhere but home will cost more
- eating processed food will cost more
- buying plants to grow my own food will cost more
- getting a hair cut will cost more
- having my toenails painted will cost more
- buying used clothing to be less of a consumer will cost more
- using my home phone will cost more
- getting a massage will cost more
- taking a tylenol because i had a massage will cost more
- buying vitamins to make me healthy will cost more
- going to the gym will cost more
- seeing a cultural event will cost more
- buying mp3s instead of going to the more expensive concert will cost more
- getting drunk because everything costs more will cost less
- taking a taxi because i got drunk will cost more

now, i'm sleepy.

friday, i picked up the boy after work and we blitzed over to north van and scarfed down fatburgers before my dad picked me up to take me to the ferry boat.  i didn't know quite what to do with myself on the trip over as my usual m.o. is to get a crispy chicken burger and nurse my fries for 90 minutes while sitting the cafeteria.  luckily, i snagged a computer station (i like tables), read & played games on my phone all the way over.  it was all good until the couple three seats away decided that it was totally acceptable to play something really loudly on their laptop and the stinky, drunk guy sat behind me and started drunk dialing people on his cell phone after cracking open a couple of brewskis.

i hate technology sometimes.

mom picked me up on the other side and we zipped up island, catching up on giggles and promptly going to bed upon arrival at her place.

saturday, i spent some time playing with her new 40" lcd television.  holy crap, that thing is HUGE.  and shiny.  and crisp (on hd channels, that is).  i don't know if i could put a tv that big in my apartment.  it'd just dominate the living area!  but, i can just imagine playing wii or watching dvds on it... *drool*   after my aunt came for a whirlwind visit, mom & i headed down to nanaimochuk for a little shopping and to see the new Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

go see it.  it's awesome.  Avatar wasn't nearly as good as Alice is.

after the show -- which was almost ruined by the frigid arctic air blowing on us in the theatre, brr -- we zipped home and i made yakisoba for dinner, followed by hockey in hd.  holy hell.  hockey in hd is... well, it's so good, i didn't mind watching it.  that tells you something right there because i'm almost entirely off the bandwagon.   after the game, we changed the clocks and went to bed; but, not before i caught the new Iron Man 2 trailer.  mm, robert downey jr.-y goodness.  i cannot wait for that movie to come out!

sunday, was lazy.  chilled with mom, packed up and headed home.  once i got there, i had some pizza with the boy, did some laundry and got ready for work on monday.  btw, there are bunches of people retiring this year and i'm SO JEALOUS.  c'mon lotto max!  come to mama!

yesterday was pretty okay, too.  work was work.  my boss is back from vacation, so the energy level got bumped up a notch or ten from last week, but i got my vacation requests for the year approved so i'm happy.  afterwards, i had an awesome roasted chicken dinner at christopher's before we headed out to newton - not just surrey! - to see the VSO perform Holst's The Planets at the Bell Centre, which is a theatre attached, no IN, a highschool.  how weird.  we took our very back of the balcony seats, adjusted to the vertigo induced by the view and settled in for some culture with the grey hairs.

i've loved The Planets (especially the fourth movement: Jupiter) since i was twelve years old.  it was on a cassette tape my sixth grade music teacher made each member of our band with a whole mix of different musics with the thought to expose us to new and different things.  ever since hearing it that first time, i've had a strong emotional reaction to it.  last night was no different.  as soon as the first few notes were played, my eyes welled up with tears and my whole body tensed up with anticipation.  i must have looked like a dork with my nose running and tears streaming down my face, but i didn't care.  i was entirely overcome by the music.  ahh!

the long, long drive back home was totally worth it just for those two hours of awesomeness.   i love the symphony!

i got home about 11:30, glad i'd had that pre-concert latte or i might have fallen asleep at the wheel and died in a fiery crash somewhere in burnaby.  by the time i got horizontal it was after midnight.  have i ever mentioned that i get up at 5:30am?  yeah, not a lot of sleep last night.  on top of the time change, i'm a wee bit knackered today.

luckily, i only have to go home, cook the biggest stirfry in the world and then go see my doctor to discuss all the other things which are wrong with me now that my lungs are clot-free.

see?  i really am a party animal!  *snarf*

between the $100 Ikea gift card and $200 unallocated portion of my income tax refund due to me, i've been trying to figure out just what i'm going to spend all this "free" money on at my favourite swedish store for a few months now.

i've been eyeing the TOBO tv bench for almost a year.  it's not too big and with the drawers and sliding glass door, i can hide all my assorted multimedia crap from view which makes my neat-freak heart squeal a little with joy.  but, i just couldn't justify the $200 price tag when the tv solution i currently have is perfectly suitable, if not visually sparse.

i was *this* close to buying it when i was at meatball-land last week, but i wanted to hold off until after my credit card billing period ended (so i'd have another month to pay it off, duh).  then i started thinking... i don't need a new tv stand.  what do i actually need which 1) might ordinarily be just a little too expensive to fetch at the last moment; or, 2) might not ever be available ever again and would make me sad to miss out on?

the answer was:  a second new pair of Nike Air Zoom Vomero+ 3 shoes.

i bought my first pair of these just after i re-borked my knee and got my first pair of orthotics, two years ago.  they turned out to be the most comfortable things i'd ever put on my feet and i've worn them nearly every day for the last twenty months.

when i went to buy a new pair last month, i discovered, to my horror, that they were no longer made and had been replaced by the Nike Air Zoom Vomero+ 4.  the internet told me there were very minor changes to the design and fit should be practically identical and i believed them.  until i tried a pair on at the Nike store in West Van.  they hurt!  and i was so upset, i didn't know what to do.  then i remembered:  eBay has everything.

i received my new pair of 3's last week and i couldn't be more pleased.  they are just as dreamy to my tootsies as my old pair; they're just shiny new and blue instead of neon green.  AND!  they cost $40 less than my old pair i bought locally!

after getting my all-clear from the doctor last week, i started seriously thinking about joining a gym to get back into fitness (now that i know i won't suddenly drop dead on the treadmill).  then i started thinking about my new shoes.  shouldn't i have an "inside pair" for the gym?   so, instead of buying a tv bench which would make me happy in my house, but isn't really needed; i've ordered a second pair of super-comfy, good-for-my-feet shoes which will, hopefully, be an incentive to get healthier in the months to come.

so, there goes most of that tax refund.  i've still got the $100 gift card to spend at the blue & yellow store, but i think most of that will go to a dutch oven and a fancy frying pan to replace the one my cousin ruined with his egg-making adventures.

oh god, i'm practical.  killmenow.

so, yeah. last week's three big ticket items were:  migraine, VQ lung scan at the hospital and catching a cold.

oh, and some kind of sporting event is happening somewhere near my house. um, what's it called?  superbowl?  no, that's not right.  uh, commonwealth games?  no, that's not it, either.  olyphant?  olympics!  that's it!  the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  yeah!

i'm so funny.

first things first,  i had my final (i hope) diagnostic test related to my pulmonary embolism on Friday morning.  i wandered over to the hospital (it's nice that it's half a block from my apartment, sometimes) ridiculously early to get a pre-scan x-ray, only to discover that all the x-ray techs were in a staff meeting until 9am, which meant i had an hour or so to wait until my ventilation/perfusion scan in the nuclear medicine department.  ugh.

turns out that nuclear medicine is the happiest department at Lions Gate Hospital.  they were all decked out in red and maple leaves were all over the place.  they were all excited for the start of the games and were chatty and hilarious.  i guess they took pity on me, or were just in THAT good a mood, as i got ushered in for my test a little early.  yay!

see, what you need to know about me is that i want to know everything which is going on at all times.  i'm just nosy that way.  so, when i'm in a situation where i don't know the procedure, i ask. this whole lung scan was all new, but i didn't have to ask because my tech/nurse, Rhonda, explained everything. in excruciating detail. that was nice, but a little excessive.  and this is coming from me, so you just know it was crazy detailed.

first, i had my nose clamped shut and a tube stuck in my mouth so i could inhale radioactive fog.  no, really.  they even used a mini-geigercounter on my chest to see if i'd sucked in enough nuclear particles for the machine to detect.  after two rounds of what i can only assume is very close to scuba diving above water, i wandered over to a big machine i got to lie down in for the next twenty minutes while it detected where the radioactive fog got to in my lungs (this was the ventilation portion of the test).  next, i had TWO nurses/techs both trying to find a vein to shoot me up with more radioactive juice to perform the second portion of the test (perfusion) -- oh me and my tiny, invisible veins of death.  this would detect where the blood flow in my lungs was going and if there were any blockages (which is what we're mostly concerned with in my case since there was a BIG CLOT in one of my blood vessels in my lung, duh).  after finally giving me my injection and lying on the table for another twenty minutes of having pictures of my chest taken and making the staff laugh and say things like "i think i like her!" i got to mosey on over to x-ray for even more radiation.

unfortunately, when my hematologist sent in the request for my lung scan, she didn't specifically ask for the x-ray they need to go with it.  consequently, i got to sit around for almost an hour waiting for someone to sign some sort of paper so i could have what turned out to be a 35-second chest x-ray.  i'm not kidding.  from the time i walked into the room to the time i walked out was way less than a minute.  it took longer to take my shirt and bra off than it did to get the x-rays done.  crazy.

by the way, i'm STILL waiting for my superpowers to manifest from all that nuking i got.  i'm really hoping for either invisibility or translocation.

pretty much the rest of the last week has been dealing with this annoying cold i probably picked up at the clinic last week when i went to get more rat poison.  the cold which made me miss both the Wilco and Hawksley Workman free concerts.  the one which has made me seriously consider surgically removing both my throat and sinuses.  stupid cold.  but, hey, at least i've been amusing myself by singing "i got the mucus in me" whenever i'm not coughing or blowing my nose.

last night, i got a phone call from my cousin.  this is noteworthy for two reasons:  1)  Christopher and my parents are the only people who ever phone me; and, 2) i haven't talked to him since, oh, 2003 when i was in Ontario for my other cousin's wedding.  turns out he's working at the Richmond O Zone doing security and, since he lives in Kelowna, he'd been staying at his company's accommodation in Burnaby.  unfortunately, he described the conditions there as "post-earthquake Haiti" and pulled the family card to ask me if he could stay with me until the end of this gig.  seeing as he's my baby cousin (on my mom's side) and i'm a sucker, i said sure.  so, as of tonight, my cousin Robert will be sleeping on an air mattress in my living room until the end of the month.  

he's working nights, so i probably won't see much of him during the week and, if i'm honest, the chance to reconnect (and collect points redeemable for a place to stay in Kelowna) is entirely worth any potential discomfort.  he's a hoot and we've always gotten along well;  you know the less than a dozen times we've been together in our entire lives.  ;)

oh god, what have i gotten myself into?

just one more thing of note:   as i did last year, i am again giving up all forms of refined sugar and artificial sweeteners for Lent.  i'm only allowed stevia in my coffee and a little bit of maple syrup on my oatmeal.   i may not be doing it for religious reasons, but i do find something a little satisfying in challenging myself to go without for such a well-defined period of time.  let's see how long it takes me to go cake-crazy like i did last year.  place your bets!

so... is there anything you want to ask me?

you see, that is the day i (finally) received my iPhone.   *sounds of bells chiming and a chorus of angelic voices fill the air*

after blogging and tweeting and pricing and debating and whining and sulking and planning and dismissing, i finally bit the bullet after i received an offer i just could not refuse.

from the first day the iPhone was announced, i wanted one.  i knew, in my heart of heart, right down to my tippy-toes that it was device i would love and use.  i may have poo-pooed it publically and declared that they were silly and superfluous, but it was all bravado.  i wanted one and was upset you had one and i did not.  but, you see, i'm still trying to pay back the bank for the reckless financial foolishness of my twenties and a $100+ bill every month just to have a fancy cell phone (even if it will rub your feet, make you chicken soup when you're sick and make unicorns shit rainbows) was just too much to even contemplate then, just as it is now.

the price of the phone itself was always daunting, but not necessarily prohibitive.  it was the monthly cost, multiplied by 36 because of the contract you were forced to sign before you could even get your hands on the thing, which slammed the brakes on the practicality of my ever procuring an iPhone.

then, for my thirty-seventh (ohgodohgodohgod) birthday, my lovely boyfriend, Christopher Evans, bought me an iPod Touch.  that was the beginning of the end to my iPhone protestations.  the iPod Touch cemented in my head, and heart, my desire for The Real Thing: an iPhone.  it was both glorious and a horrible tease.  it could do so many things the iPhone could, for free; but it wasn't quite there.  i wanted the camera, so i could tweet photos.  i wanted the GPS, so i would never get lost.  i wanted access to the internet EVERYWHERE i went, not just where i could scam free-fi.

after the iPod cracked the wall around my iPhone-loving heart, the announcement that the iPhone would now be carried by Bell & Telus (in addition to Rogers & Fido), planted the seeds of an insidiously ivy-like idea which would worm its way through that crack into my fortress of self-denial.  if there were more carriers carrying it, then the prices for the monthly plans would drop. right?  that's just good business sense!  more competiton means better prices for consumers!  well, they were pretty good, but still, after data and caller ID and text messages, plans were still over $75/month, which was still way too much for me to seriously consider committing to paying every month for the next three years.

that's about the time that i found out about a way to buy a two-hundred dollar iPhone for ninety-five dollars; but the plan was still too far above my mental barrier for my to take advantage.  next came an email from Colene which boasted an incredible plan.  loads of minutes, caller ID, voicemail, texts, data all for a price i could justify just by not going out for dinner once a month.   i waffled and whined some more, i crunched so many numbers my spreadsheet was begging for mercy.  then, once the last cheque from the November craft fair cleared... i made the call.

just like that, i was an iPhone owner.

of course, it took over two weeks for me to get my phone because it went "out for delivery" via Purolator (now and forever after to be known as "Fuckyouhater") SEVEN DAYS IN A ROW without an actual attempt at delivery at my apartment.  my poor, long-suffering boyfriend camped out at my place for three days in their entirety just to make sure i wouldn't miss delivery before Christmas came and i was away to miss it for even longer.  gah.  even thinking about that ridiculousness makes me cranky.  

finally, after some festiveness on the island with my family, i came home to wait some more because the offices weren't open until Tuesday.  you can bet your bottom dollar that as soon as my lunch break came that Tuesday, i was in my car, rushing towards the depot to finally rescue my phone from the evil courier's hands.

all that trauma aside, this last month with my iPhone, Spud, has been as advertised.  it's everything i hoped it would be.  i'm even astounded that the Bell 3G network gives me five full bars of service almost everywhere i go (and even in my office, which is just astounding because with my old phone i had to stand on a chair by the window to be able to have a conversation in here).  it's with me everywhere i go and has made me totally anti-social at social occasions because i'm always taking it out to tweet something or check my email (but, thankfully, most of my friends have them, so they're all doing the same thing -- phew).  it's my precious.  i loves it and kind of wonder why i waited so long.